Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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