I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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