I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
