Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
