i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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