Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
