Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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