we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
