He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
