I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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