They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
