Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my being single is dangerous.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We need to get me chipped asap
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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