i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
