Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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