Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
nutella sex= disaster
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize