Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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