You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
