Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
