Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
