everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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