Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
