I am midnight drunk by noon
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize