ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize