I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Say something about gay babies.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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