i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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