we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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