WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
