I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
