in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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