did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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