Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
