You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
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a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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