that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
