Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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