just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
