What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
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