her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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