you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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