How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
