ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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