Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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