: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
