rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
