There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
