this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
