One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
