She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
