I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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