Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
