apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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