My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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