The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
