Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize