i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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