I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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