he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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