i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
