If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
