how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
