I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She bit a glass in half.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
