You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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