loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
