She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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