in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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