Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
